Brief Memoir of a Blender

Preparing Mango Shake in the Revived Blender

Preparing Mango Shake in the Revived Blender

I am an aging multicultural blender. My glass bowl came from the Philippines, my practical plastic lid was imported from Mexico, my snappy blades were sharpened somewhere in the USA, and all my parts came together in China. My birth (they call it ‘registration’) certificate says Florida. Go figure.

Since I was purchased by my owner in Miami in 2003, I flew north in a suitcase and have lived my life as an expat in Canada—in Port Hope, Ontario to be exact. It’s been a sheltered life, living as I have in the same corner of the same kitchen of this same old house day in day out, all these years.

Sheltered, but not dull. I’ve done what I was born to do. Fulfilled my destiny, you could say. Pink smoothies, green smoothies, purple smoothies … with or without walnuts, sunflower seeds, or almonds. And soups! Many the soups I’ve whirred into silky spoonable easy-on-the-teeth bowls of goodness. Butternut squash soup, cucumber soup … and my favourite: potato-leek soup.

I almost died last month. My life of service almost ended when my Dear Owner (Dee) added a teaspoonful of honey to the mango smoothie, and hit the go button without removing the spoon. Idiot! The noise was frightful. I struggled for a few seconds and was ready to give up the ghost when, at my last gasp, Dee punched the stop button. In spite of her panic, she had the sang-froid to stop the accident in its deadly tracks before … well, you know.

The damage was severe. My fine blades were totalled, and the central part that held them in place was ruptured beyond repair. Would I wind up (before my time) as junk in the dump?

To my surprise and everlasting gratitude, Dee took me to the local fixit clinic on Mill Street. Here, a bearded wonder had seen this kind of case before, and sent out a request for a new part. The heart of the matter arrived in a well-padded box and in no time Ed—for that was his name—performed a magic transplant and had me ticking like new … for a fraction of the cost a younger model would have been. My 2016 blades, oh, they were cutting edge. I began pumping out smoothies like there was a tomorrow. Boy, I hadn’t felt this good in a long time…

I recommend this shelf-life saving procedure to all who are concerned about

  1. saving money
  2. reviving aging electric tools
  3. protecting the environment of our one and only Planet Earth.

Much obliged,

Blender and Dee – who has promised to be more attentive to Blender’s needs in future. They are looking forward to many more years together.


26 comments on “Brief Memoir of a Blender

  1. So glad to hear the happy ending to this story!


  2. Lucky Blender and Dee who have wonderful Ed nearby when needed! Folk like Ed are nearly extinct.


  3. Love it, Diane! Well done.


  4. Well done Diane, glad the local appliance Dr. was able to restore it to life!! Many more happy blendings in the future!!


  5. Great story Diane! That blender has so much character— it would be tragic if he?she? had succumbed to a misplaced spoon


  6. Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
    Here’s a fun post by author Diane Taylor for your enjoyment 👍😃😄


  7. Great story ☺
    I love the depth you went into and the fact your created a story from just a blender.


  8. Diane, what a delightful post. Thank you for making me giggle and giving me that same good feeling I get when I’ve rescued something from the big landfill in the hills.
    Blessings ~ Wendy


  9. I love your sense of humour Diane. A well told story by a crafty blender. Lovely to meet you through Sally’s blog. 🙂


  10. Amazing how you can revive old things and give them the second life!


  11. Love this ode to a blender! Fantastic!


    • Glad you got a kick out of it. We once had a blender on a boat that fit on the nut of the engine’s flywheel… until one day I took my hand off the handle for a second and it flew off into the harbor. We searched and searched and never did find it in the silty bottom of the marina.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I love it when old favourites can be repaired; I love it when I find people who will lovingly repair an old favourite. May you and your blender have many more years together.


  13. Thanks for those good wishes.:)


  14. When life and writing are equally fun 😉


  15. Almost an early end to the poor blender. I’m glad there was a happy ending. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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